The 30-Minute, 3-Step Bedtime Solution

Having a relaxing bedtime routine is one of those sleep hygiene hacks every expert tells you to do. But what constitutes a healthy routine and why is it so important?

Well, first, and most importantly, your brain LOVES routine. Your brain is lazy, and it craves efficiency and safety above everything else. So, when you do something repeatedly, your brain sighs in relief and turns on the autopilot. This means that if sleep always follows your bedtime activities, then the autopilot will automatically turn on sleep when you get to the end of your routine, reducing sleep stress and helping you fall asleep faster.

The good news is that a routine doesn’t have to be extensive, or overly complicated to get these results. This 30-minute three-step solution will set you up for a good night’s rest every night.

Step 1 – Write It Out

Journaling

Stress is the leading cause of sleeplessness and taking the time to reduce your stress every day can help mitigate its effect on your sleep. Today, 99.9% of our stress is psychological – the fight with your partner, yelling at the kids, the bad performance review from your boss, the nasty comment on your social media – all of these things induce the stress response, the flight or fight.

When the stress response kicks in, adrenaline and cortisol are released into your system causing an increase in muscle tension, heart rate, blood pressure, and brain wave patterns. This response was meant to help you think and move quickly with speed, agility, and strength in the face of a physical threat.

When you are under a physical threat, the brain understands when it is over – you slay the tiger or survived the car accident – and the cortisol and adrenaline are automatically released.

However, when you are under a psychological threat, the brain doesn’t understand when it is over and cortisol stays elevated which reduces deep sleep resulting in a lighter, more easily disrupted night.

“The worst part about psychological stress is your conscious brain has become adept at making you believe the threat is over.”

The worst part about psychological stress, is your conscious brain has become adept at making you believe the threat is over. You apologize for the fight, you reflect on the comments from your boss, and you respond in a similar nasty fashion to the social media comment, but your subconscious brain ruminates.

To stop these thoughts from ruining your night, take ten minutes to journal about your day, what went right, what you thought could be better, and how you felt throughout the day to help dissipate any lingering stress that may try to spin out in your mind during the night.

Try my Daily Stressors Exercise to help guide you through this process.

To-Do Lists

Have you ever woken up in the night and thought, “OMG! I need to remember to do…” And then you spent the next hour or more running it through your mind, over, and over, and over, and over, so you don’t forget to do it in the morning?

Take a couple of minutes to review your to-do list or create a new one to help free your brain from trying to remember to do it the next day. You can also do this in the middle of the night when the list keeps you awake – writing it down means your brain doesn't have to try to remember it.

Step 2 – Engage in a Relaxing Activity

It’s crucial to spend some time relaxing before bed. Society today comes with many distractions and a need to always be on, and always stay connected.

Not only is it a good idea to turn off your devices, or at the very least, turn off notifications, an hour before bed, but you should also avoid doing anything that is too engaging for your brain.

Love documentaries but they keep you thinking for hours? Watch them earlier in the night to allow for time to consider what you learned and to avoid the thoughts from disrupting your sleep.

Tend to have important conversations with your partner while lying in bed? Start scheduling a time earlier each night to have those conversations so you have time to process the discussion, so it doesn’t keep you awake at night.

“Instead, take at least 15 minutes to do something that relaxes your brain.”

Instead of engaging your brain in documentaries and deep conversations, take 15 minutes to do something that relaxes your brain, like reading, listening to music or an audiobook, or meditating.

Whatever the relaxing activity, ensure it’s something you can put aside if you start to fall asleep. And be sure to set a timer on your music or audiobook so the noise doesn’t wake you later in the night.

Step 3 – Try This Relaxation Technique

Before turning out your light, make sure you’re ready for sleep, meaning that you are sleepy and not just tired.

The difference is that when you’re sleepy you have a biological need for sleep and your body is physically telling you by yawning excessively or nodding off. When you’re tired, you have a desire for sleep or a weariness but are not necessarily ready to sleep yet.

Once you turn out the lights, you can try this relaxation technique to help you fall asleep easier.

Start by getting into your most comfortable position. Then relax all the muscles in your body. You can start at the head or the feet and imagine the muscles relaxing, or feeling heavy or warm until you are fully relaxed.

“When you are fully relaxed and sleeping, you breathe into the abdomen.”

Then breathe into your abdomen. When you are stressed and anxious, you tend to breathe shallowly with your chest or even hold your breath. But when you are fully relaxed and sleeping, you breathe into the abdomen. When you breathe into your abdomen, don’t count your breath, or hold it, just breathe normally and as your body relaxes, it will naturally begin to deepen.

Lastly, calm your mind by using a mantra. Pick one neutral word like, one, heavy, or warm, but don’t use sleep or relax as that may get the brain thinking that you are not asleep or relaxed. If your mind starts to wander, bring yourself back to your breathing and your mantra.

Consistency is Key

The most important thing you can do is repeat your routine every night, no matter what. It can take five minutes or 50, depending on how much time you have, but doing the same activities is what triggers the brain to go on autopilot and follow it with sleep.